Sing us a song, Pianoman...

Where did this summer go?

I feel oddly at peace with the ups and downs that have comprised this summer. I took a huge step forward, tripped, and fell back a pace. But in tripping, I learned for the future.

Proactivity doesn't hurt, but the cards will fall where they may. I was making myself crazy over decisions I was forced into making, and it wasn't worth it. Things happen, deal with it. If you want something to work out, make it happen. If you can't make it happen right away, work at it until you can.

Life is about challenges- relationships, monetary, lifestyle, etc. Otherwise, we would be bored.

No matter how hard it may be or how scared you are, don't give up on what you want. Listen to your gut. If you really feel it, don't let it go.

Hello, Autumn... are you ready for me?

What Dreams May Come...

Last night, I had another dream...

This one was very realistic; a mish-mosh of what is going on in my life right now.

I dreamt that I got a well-deserved raise.

Now, this could have happened. I have just reached the one year mark at my job. I wear a lot of hats there, and do good work. It felt so right...

...there the check was, floating in space, right in front of my grasp...

So I grabbed it. Then my whole world changed- my hopes, my dreams, all fell away, and that one small raise lead to a life of of compromise, longing, and regret. A life stuck on Long Island, strapped with debt, wasting my artistry, "visiting" the city, staring at what I could have had.

When I woke up, it was all gone.

I realized that my subconscious hates me. Either that, or it is super worried.

Am I wasting an opportunity by moving back home to LI and staying with the "comfortable" job? Should I throw it all away, forget the car, and go for it with everything I've got?

I don't know... I really don't know. I've never felt more frustrated and confused.

New York City is the land of opportunities- the artist capital- the place to discover yourself.

So why do I feel like I'm losing me?

Red's Hard Lemonade...

Sometimes, when life gives you lemons, you gotta use those suckas as stress relief and throw 'em as hard as you can at stupid, stupid people...

...and that's just what I've been doing.

Life was moving forward. F A S T...

And then the car accident happened. And then my car was fixed. And then my car was totaled.

And now I have to move back home.

Sure, I went through all the stages... Denial, depression, weight loss in the wallet area. But I came out of this with something invaluable- experience. The short time that I had in my apartment taught me not only about myself, but about the experience of moving out on my own. I feel sad that due to extenuating circumstances, the tenure there was so short, but I am confident that I will get there again.

Not only will I get there, but I will surpass it. I know what I want. I am determined to get it.

Sure life is twisty-turny and likes to get in the way. It happens all the time. The real challenge is in how we deal with it.

I'll admit it. For a hot second, I broke down. But the fire is lit now.

I just hope lemon juice isn't flammable...

The newest contest for me now? How quickly I can turn around and get back to NYC. First stop- employment... wish me luck!