A Narcissistic View on Change, Part Duex... (That's Freedom for Dos)

Moving forces out a plethora of emotions. Not only in the fact that it is a frustrating, tiring, sometimes sad, sometimes happy movement from one place to another, but also because of the actual process of packing. In the midst of my packing frenzy, I have unearthed many items which were packed away somewhere in my room and had been long forgotten about.

This only helps to draw out the packing process, as memories flood back and one must take a moment to reflect, which in turn adds to the frustration and worry of not finishing your packing on time.

However, it is necessary to look back on the ridiculousness of our former selves and laugh, cry, and gain closure.

Which is exactly what I did when I found a letter from myself in my "Memory Box" (a device given to me by an ex, a clever idea for a girl with little to no memory capabilities.) This letter was an exercise that my "friends" and I decided to do at the end of of Freshman year of college. We were to write to our future selves, or others who will follow in our footsteps, put the letters in bottles, head to the beach, and toss them out to sea.

We were dreamers... or drunk, I can't remember.

The letter is as follows:

Thursday, May 13, 2004, 11:35 PM

Well, I've just completed my freshman year of college, and I have to say, I learned more in this year than in the rest of my life. And I'm not talking about book smarts. Here are some examples:

Everything happens for a reason. Little moments in time that seem insignificant now may mean the world tomorrow.
Remember each and every person you meet. A chance meeting may be your best friend, soul mate, or arch enemy.
The most important lesson in life is just
to be. Let life roll- you can't force it to be something it's not.
Learn to let things slide off of your back. It doesn't matter what others think of you -
you are all that matters.
Don't try to please others. You'll spend all your time doing things you don't like, and that's dumb.
Sometimes you can have the best time doing nothing.
There is nothing like lying in bed with your love interest/lover/partner in crime, especially when you keep each other up until the sun rises.
When life gets really bad -
DON'T DRINK - it's never a good thing. (Author's note: Still don't follow this one... it's a toughy.)
Life gets really rough sometimes. When it seems like it's at its worst, remember, it can only get better.
Sometimes all you need is music- like shouting "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf out the windows while driving with your closest friends at 2 A.M.
Don't take anything for granted. Take every opportunity you can and run with it, otherwise, you'll regret you didn't.
Every single thing in life is a sexual innuendo.
The best conversations are the ones in which you talk about the deepest topics for hours, fight the entire time, and come to no conclusions.
Nothing is better than cuddling after a long day.
Nothing is better than cuddling on a rainy day.
Nothing is better than cuddling.
Kings can be one of the scariest experiences in life.
It is possible to hate someone and to love them at the same time.
Sometimes it is necessary to act before thinking- experience is the best way to learn.
Love every moment, you can only live this moment once.
All in all- live by this Swedish Proverb:
"Fear less, hope more;
Eat less, chew more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Love more, and all good things will be yours."
Good luck- Lord knows we all need it. Share your experiences with those you love, but let them experience for themselves. Wherever you're at now are the best days of your life- enjoy them.
Always, Stevie

I sat in shock and remembrance as I read through this letter. Shock because I couldn't believe how smart I had been five years ago- how I had had these revelations and then forgotten about them for five years, only to come full circle and finally really understand what they meant and live them out five years later.

It is so weird how our minds work. How we realize things that are good for us, or understand how to live our lives, but sometimes, we are just not ready to follow the right path. The twists and turns we make finding our way shape us into the dented, broken heaps we are- people with character and stories to tell.

I had to share this moment with you, readers. I am in a turning point in my life in many ways, and with that, an emotional mess.

An emotional mess who is getting things done. EFF YEAH!

It feels great to be going forward, one foot in front of the other, but the journey is long and scary and frustrating and difficult.

Very. Difficult.

Sometimes it helps to stop and take a look back at where life has brought me. I only hope that, at 24, I continue to learn and grow and reflect and be able to share my thoughts and experiences with those around me. It is a gift that I hope will never be taken away from me. However, if it is, I will always have that letter to myself dated May 13, 2004, 11:35 P.M.

But really, readers... SPF 30, it's the way to go...

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