This Just In...

... I miss my magic wand.


The Newest Intern at Hogwarts

With the amount of places to go and things to do, one would think that NYC would be a hotbed of jobs.


That's right, my friend, times are tough...

No, I will not get out!

I'm serious. It's all a person can do not to go crazy from the rejection of it all. Just gotta pick yourself back up, dust off, and hit up the nearest bar.

Who cares that my bank account keeps flashing at me -$389.72 -$389.72 -$389.72

And so the drinking problems begin. Well, wait a second, I don't know if I'd call them problems... at least not from the get go. It starts out as a solution, doesn't it?


The other night I saw the new Harry Potter movie (Half Blood Prince, herein referred to as HBP, because I'm lazy.) I'm a huge fan of the books. However, the first five movies fell short for me. I just remember leaving the theater deflated with defeat, and as the next movie approached, the hope would build that THIS one would be the one to change my mind.

They never did.

At least, not until HBP. Maybe it's because I am now studying Visual Effects, and I was 85% impressed with the VFX on this film. Maybe it's because the characters are getting older, and the proper humor and "romance" that offsets the action can finally be infused into the film. Maybe it's because I'm finally getting over the books, and just seeing the movies for what they are.

In any case, after the movie, I went home with a sense of pride in what I hope to eventually do with my life. The artistry AND technicality that goes into these features are a hugely awesome undertaking.

And as I downed my third bottle of a six pack of Sam Adams Summer Ale in celebration of my chosen field, the mood slowly started to sour into disgust at the non-success of my job search.


That night, I had a dream. I not only dreamt that I had a job as an artist, but I was filming a documentary called "Life at Hogwarts: The Harry Potter Chronicles." That's right, reader, I was making myself some magic about magic. (Blogger's Note: Don't hate.)

In this dream, Hogwarts really existed. It was a living, breathing castle full of living, breathing witches and wizards. I, myself, had gained the right to hold a wand. It was exhilarating.

I wanted a camera over there- Swish! There it was. I wanted the light to look just right- Swish! I didn't even have to think of how to do it. I felt powerful; in charge! This shot didn't look right... Swish! Insta-onscreen camera move. More action in this shot... Swish! Blowing things up without ever touching a thing.

I made things happen... Swish!... like that...

And then I realized, it wasn't me making things happen. It was my waving, magical wand.

It was too easy. I hadn't accomplished anything.

The fun was gone. It just felt empty.


I awoke from that dream sweaty, thirsty, and renewed. That night I realized something important. It is the struggles in life that give us the pride in what we finally accomplish. It is the frustration and anger and drunken, stupid nights that lead to the brilliant victories and all the fun experiences that came with you along the way.

If it all came easy, would we ever really try? Would anyone ever strive for greatness?

Would there even be such a thing... "greatness?"

Sometimes, when I feel really beaten down, I'm sure that I will really miss that wand.

Today, however, I am proud of how I got to where I am, and the journey I plan to take to where I eventually want to go...

...starting with the nearest watering hole... Cheers, reader!


The Impossible Dream...

I have a job.

I have a job and I get paid steadily, bi-monthly.

I have a job and I get paid steadily, bi-monthly, and I have full medical benefits, dental benefits, and will soon be able to open a 403-b paid by my employer.

I also have talent. That may sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but I have artistic talent, I know that I do, because I've been told it a good amount. And everyday that ticks by, I'm wasting it.

I feel like a girl in high school who is trying to determine whether or not to break up with her boyfriend for the new guy, making lists of "pros" and "cons" of each scenario. Debating comfortable versus challenging, safe versus fun. Rolling over and over thoughts of job market instability, bills, savings, information, expenses, health insurance, gas money, (what if I got in an accident?)... the constant crushing of numbers... crushing, crushing, crushing...


Time to shit or get off the pot. Time to explore my photography more. Time to get my hands on some video and practice what I know from school.

Time to work with the clock, instead of against it.

Who's with me?


It's Called Blinders, People!

Can someone please explain to me the concept of "rubbernecking"?

Cause I just don't fucking get it.

Let's slow down to stare at someone else's misfortune, and then, hopefully, cause some of our own...

B R I L L I A N T !

Day 3 of commuting... this is gonna be great...